Flashpoint Africa (1984) West German made espionage-in-Africa made-for-TV thriller.

Theme Song: None.

Interesting Dated References: Girls that are easily brainwashed like Patti Hearst.

Best Line: “We’re making a film called how to rob a bank, African style…”

Social Context: Some more liberal readers will probably be quick to point out that I totally glazed over the whole South Africa thing in the 1980s, so I better mention it probably had something to do with that. But there’s no real point in getting into it since the movie is so poorly done, any messages or political overtones were lost in budgeting.

Summary: Wow, there’s nothing about this movie online. Not that I expected there to be, but still you expect a certain amount of information to be acquired. From what I can gather this was a made for TV movie for West German cable. It starred a bunch of British and German television actors, and was directed by some West German television director.

The movie centers around two reporters investigating stuff in South Africa. The opening scene shows two white girls getting kidnapped. In the one moment of hilarity so far, as the girls van is blocked in the road, the girl driving gets out and starts running the opposite way, leaving her friend in the van. There’s a lot of 70s decorations all over the place as well, so I’m making due despite the fact that the audio sounds like it was recorded underwater.

The main reporter lady is invited to join the two girls by the rebel leader who kidnapped them. It turns out the leader, Matari, was an old schoolmate of hers, and trusts her to film his views in a fair manner. So she and her cameraman join up with the guerilla troops and the two white girls. Then there’s a lot of half-thought-out talk about revolution, the white man, and the government. All of this is set against the backdrop of two television executives editing the footage together and commenting on it. Again, between the British accents, the casual beer drinking, and the muffled audio, I’m having a hard time getting anything worthwhile out of this.

The caravan of guerillas, reporters, and white girls all trek through the jungle, obviously with some type of goal in mind, but it is never made clear. Eventually, the white girls are let go, but they refuse to leave, having transformed into Stockholm Syndrome suffering warrior women. One of the girls tries to use her vagina to persuade one of the guerilla warriors to overthrown Matari. Before that can happen, he is shot in an ambush. As the reporters prepare to leave, the girls and the one guerilla guy decide to be the new force, and want to go rob a bank. Then a girl gets shot. This is ridiculous. Then the reporter does her final schtick to the cameraman, then she gets shot.

I’d just like to apologize for reviewing and attempting to understand this movie. I made a commitment to review all of my Betamax, and I’m going to stick with it. You have to understand there’s going to be some duds. Hopefully we will get a string of good ones in the next few reviews because this was a big piece of shit.

Poster and Box Art: Since Flashpoint Africa was made for television, the only art I could find is pictured above. I’m not even going to dignify the slapped together cover with an analysis.

Availability: If you must, you can get used VHS copies on Amazon. One guy is actually trying to charge $34 for it. Hilarious. What an asshole.