Hollywood High (1976) Yes, another boob-obsessed sex comedy from the late 70s.

Theme Song: In addition to the many other great things about 70s boobsploitation, the films usually always had original music:

Theme From HollyWood High

Love Song From Hollywood High

Venice

All music is by Scott Gale, who went on to be the music supervisor for the entire run of Golden Girls, and a season or two of Blossom.

Interesting Dated References: Movies centered on a single plot device (breasts).

Best Line: Hollywood High is filled with a bunch of double-entendres and shitty one-liners, none of which stand out due to terrible delivery.

Social Context: We may never figure out why the modern world is so obsessed with breasts, but it’s a fact, and it even has its own film genre.

Summary: I’m trying to figure out an easy way to summarize character-type names for these chicks, but it’s proving more difficult than I thought. Not difficult because the characters are so multi-layered and deep, but because they’re all the same character with a simple variation in breast size and skin tone.

Clockwise from lower left: Slightly more-intelligent, medium-busted, dirty blonde, Jan; way-dumb, large-breasted, Monica; even-dumber, but slightly smaller-breasted, Bebe; and Mexican-ish, also smaller-breasted, slightly more intelligent, Candy. So we’ve got a pretty good breadth of chicks here.

The girls leave high school and head to the beach. On the way, they see their “guys” in a boogie van.

Back in the film, they drive by Grauman’s Chinese Theatre and Leadbelly is playing. So the girls get pulled over by a cop. It should be noted the cop is played by the director, Patrick Wright (more on him later).

Have you ever seen so much frolicking and outright disregard for the splashing of water? I’ve never been so excited I would act like this in my entire life. Also of note is Jan’s bathing suit appears to be a thin layer of cotton. Is this how bathing suits used to be? No wonder everyone used to hang out at the beach. She’s basically wearing wet notebook paper and you can see all her parts beneath. So after all this splashing, the girls meet some stoner guy who lets them drink his beer and then they once again start dancing and having fun.

Who has this much fun? The girls get totally high and drunk with this guy and keep talking about how horny they are. Apparently when girls get drunk and horny, they like to giggle and dance and slap-fight with each other. How much can you pad a movie with meaningless dancing and fucking horseplay?

Then the dudes show up. They chase off the high guy and then they all proceed to make out and make love. At this point, things get much more hardcore than most standard booby comedies. Usually they keep it slightly classy and try to have somewhat romantic love scenes (Beach Girls), or at least just focus on the comedic aspects of the sex (Cherry Hill High), but not Hollywood High. During this group make-out scene, we see men sucking on breasts, mock unbuttoning their pants, etc. Granted it’s still all softcore, but clearly whomever (Patrick Wright) was making the calls has some experience making either porn under an assumed name, or at least filming some softcore.

Of note is the fact that Bebe never kisses or disrobes during this scene. I wonder if that actress was getting paid less than the rest.

After all that action, finally we get some plot development that is almost pointless to talk about. There are some classroom scenes with a teacher forcing students to take a test, but all we need to care about is that the girls go to get their car repaired by Big Dick (who happens to be a midget).

While there, they make nice with some old silent film actress.

Jan has a wicked diastema, which, in case you were not aware, is sexy, and the fact that they don’t appear in movies anymore is just another example of why the world sucks now. Then there’s a 45-minute food fight, because a food fight is relatively inexpensive to film. All the 27-year-old teenagers are tired of making out in cramped quarters, so the girls call up the silent movie actress and crash her pad with their dudes.

The silent movie actress immediately starts raping the men. Meanwhile, the girls skinny dip and talk about how their guys are so worn out from getting raped possibly by an actual tiger. So then at some point the girls are still skinny-dipping, and the old silent movie actress calls to tell them she has found the best lover in the world. The girls go check it out and it’s one of their teachers.

Hollywood High, I’m betting, was originally supposed to be a hardcore movie. If not that, then it was at least supposed to be a softcore movie, for sure. Most of the staff worked on other softcore and or hardcore movies in the 70s, as well as being involved with some Russ Meyer pictures. Director, Wright, played a character in the “sex education” film, Sexual Practices in Sweden, as well as the awesome sounding (but probably not), I Feel It Coming. Like I said, the whole movie has more skin-on-skin contact than the typical teen boobsploitation film, and the filmmakers’ backgrounds are very apparent. Hollywood High has a sequel (in name only) I will try to get around to reviewing sooner rather than later.

Poster and Box Art: This poster is actually pretty unimpressive. A photo!? Clearly they should have used an exaggerated drawing of the girls in the film so I could complain that the exaggerated drawing didn’t look like the actual girls in the film. Bonus point for using a photo of the actual girls in the film which is pretty rare.

Availability: No.