Theme Song:
“Viaggio Con Anita” by Ennio Morricone. It’s no secret that Ennio Morricone has a lot of filler in his discography. Case in point, the soundtrack to this movie which isn’t very memorable.
Interesting Dated References: Traveling.
Best Line: I can’t tell if this was overdubbed or what, but there’s really nothing funny and/or interesting going on in this entire movie. In fact, there are not even any sexy outfits, and I don’t even like sexy outfits! There’s nothing making this movie in the least bit interesting.
Social Context: None.
Summary: Our story begins with famous Italian actor Giancarlo Giannini (we’ll call him “Foreign Guy”) randomly picking up the roommate of some broad he was sleeping with. This roommate is Goldie Hawn (herein referred to as “Hawn”). They drive to Pisa and film some type of commercial. Foreign Guy is a manager, and Hawn is an actress.
After a bunch of driving, Foreign Guy tries to make out with a sleeping Hawn. They keep driving and talk about where they should go. There’s a giant, extremely cheesy car accident, and various other non-hilarious things. Throughout all of it, Foreign Guy rants and raves. He really hates Hawn and her American-icity. I think they call this sexual tension.
Eventually Foreign Guy takes Hawn to some remote island where they gamble and flirt with each other. Foreign Guy is apparently on the run from something and I think it has to do with the fact that his dad just died, or maybe it’s because he is married.
The duo eventually rent some type of condo and spend their time making out. They visit a beach and talk a whole bunch more.
So then Foreign Guy goes and deals with his dead dad and leaves Hawn all alone in the condo. She gets bored and goes on some type of date/dinner thing with some old broad. In the meantime, Foreign Guy deals with more family stuff for a really long time. So much so in fact, I forget Hawn is even in the movie. At some point they have a fight over the phone and he goes to find her. This leads to one of those funny foreign car chases with all the tiny roads and vehicles. They go home and make love. The next day he goes to his father’s funeral. Hawn decides to go, too, which is trouble because Foreign guy’s wife is also at the funeral. A fight ensues and Hawn leaves. During the funeral, Foreign Guy has some type of fantasy dream about him and Hawn at the leaning tower of Pisa, as featured on the giant pile of half empty pizza boxes in your kitchen. Then the movie ends.
Poster and Box Art: The US poster actually has one of those “slapstick 70s movie” posters that we all grew to love, then hate, then love again. It doesn’t really look like Goldie Hawn though. More like Goldie Hawn with a thyroid disorder.
This foreign poster makes it look like a 70s porno, but hey, they had to get people in the theater somehow. I shouldn’t call that a foreign poster though since the movie is actually a foreign movie.
Availability: Lovers & Liars has fallen into public domain and as a result there’s thirty million different dvd versions. You can buy like 15 different versions on Amazon, you can pick and choose which cover version you want!
> Guess who isn’t practicing tonight?> That’s right, the shitty heavy metal> band down the block.Could be worse. Could be a shitty bluegrass band.