Theme Song:
“Normal as the Next Guy“ by The Knack.
This is an original recording, not the re-recorded version that appeared on the 2001 album of the same name.
“You Can Count on Me” by Billy Sherwood
Now this is where it’s at: motivational, uplifting, etc.
Interesting Dated References: Asking someone you just met if they have any decent bootlegs; Repeatedly using the word “slam hound” in reference to a promiscuous woman.
Best Line: Said by threatening jockular type in reference to an impending ass-whooping — “You’re dead, bunghole.” I think the message comes across, but trying to pull off the word “bunghole” in a threatening manner is pretty difficult.
Social Context: It’s not an insult, but this movie has the same visual vibe as Cool As Ice and I wish I knew what this era in filmmaking was called. It’s always late-80s/early-90s, soft focus, a bright color palette, loud music at certain points, and lots of time spent talking. It’s like Altman’s Short Cuts made passionate love with the intro to Saved By The Bell and somehow maybe Jim Jarmusch was there offering notes, but also Spike Lee was filming and jacking-off? Seriously, someone tell me what this era was called. A lot of the movies from this time period are shit, but are somehow oddly comforting.
Summary: Down on their luck detectives Nick (Arliss Howard, Pvt. Cowboy from Full Metal Jacket) and Ed (Seymour Cassel, Rushmore, a number of John Cassavetes’ greatest films) find out Nick’s younger brother is being accused of murdering his teacher and decide to go undercover as a father/son duo.
It doesn’t sound exciting and it’s not. Literal hours go by as Nick asks various teenagers questions about who murdered the teacher and why. Then Nick sweats profusely while reading a sexually-charged E.E. Cummings poem to a room full of teenage students. This arouses his homeroom/English teacher (Suzy Amis, Twister [1989], The Usual Suspects) and sexually-active teenager Dawn-Marie.
Eventually Nick uncovers a massive conspiracy involving (brace for it) pension scams, fraudulent real estate investments, Dawn-Marie’s dad, corrupt 401(k)s, counterfeit tax filings, white flight, ageism, culottes, and most important of all as some type of maniacal villain/woodshop teacher: George Wendt (“Da Bears!” Hahaha! “Da Bears!” Remember that? “Da Bears!” Hahahah!).
After uncovering the massive conspiracy, Nick is able to instantly run off with his love interest/English/homeroom teacher who has no issue immediately acknowledging him as an off-age man with whom she can now have sexual relations.
Worth Mentioning:
– Directed by Martha Coolidge, who was also behind Valley Girl, Real Genius, and Rambling Rose.
– A young Max Perlich is featured prominently as Carter, a classmate of Nick’s.
– Here’s another review, which has a little more detail.
– There are several notable actors in this movie who have small roles: Harry Shearer, Robert Stack, Reginald VelJohnson, Abe Vigoda, and Diane Ladd.
– Every actor is sweating profusely in every single scene. No joke.
Poster and Box Art: The Betamax box is kind of sad with Arliss looking all blank as Dawn-Marie inspects his ear hole.
One thing to note is this cover features an old-school, airbrushed page-curl effect. For most of the ‘80s this effect was the keystone of professional airbrushers the world over. When computer programmers figured out how to duplicate this effect digitally, the entire airbrushing industry collapsed (mass suicides, etc.) and has never been heard from since.
For no reason whatsoever, this awesome theatrical poster was ditched for the home video release:
I forget what this style of art is called because I dropped out of art school after six months because nobody prepared me for handling mind-altering substances and a freshman workload, but it’s specific to the late ‘80s, right before computers came and ruined everything.
It’s like collage-ish Xerox-manipulation with some assistance from computers, but still tons of cut and paste. It fucking rules.
Availability: On BluRay via Amazon.